My Testimony
In my weekly bible study we are sharing our testimonies with one another. As a Lutheran, I've only shared my testimony on my confirmation day in front of the congregation. At that time, I was 15 years young. Since then, I've shared stories of my faith with close friends in conversation but I've never sat down and thought about my testimony.
testimony tes•ti•mo•ny noun
1. evidence in support of a fact or statement; proof.
2. A public declaration regarding a religious experience.
3. open declaration or profession, as of faith.
I think about the times God has shown His presence in my life, and I am honestly overwhelmed. From the time I was born, I was in the care of parents who had devoted their lives to Christ. I'm blessed to have a family that made sure Jesus was the center of everything. As a young adult, I realize that the blessing that has impacted my life the most is the family God has given me. The dependability of my family's faith has been one of the ways God has shown his presence in my life.
The first time I remember experiencing God's presence, is the first time I doubted His existence. Eighth grade year, a church member and a dear family friend passed away during heart surgery. As kids, we called Mrs. Johnson our "second grandma." Her death was sudden and unexpected. I remember crying throughout her entire funeral service. It wasn't fair that Mrs. Johnson was gone. She was supposed to meet her 3rd grandson for the first time after her surgery. It was all unfair. As the days past, my anger and confusion grew. The concept of heaven and hell seemed far too unreal and "made up" to me. This was the first time, I doubted the existence of God. I couldn't bring myself to believe that Mrs. Johnson was in a place, that wasn't of this universe. I couldn't wrap my head around the concept of a place which we spend an eternity in. The concept of eternity seemed too far fetch. For weeks, I cried myself to sleep, trying to pray but always ending the night questioning if anyone or anything could even hear my prayers. I confided in a friend at the time who was mature in her faith, and her advice to me was to continue praying. So that's what I did. Soon my prayers of anger turned into prayers of faith. Instead of asking the question, "Are you there God?" I started asking the question, "Will you give me the faith to believe?" From those few months of prayer and doubt, I came out with a deeper and personal relationship with my Savior.
One year later my worst nightmare, as a high school freshman, came true. My dad accepted a call to a church 500 miles away from the only place I called home. We took a weekend trip down to Topeka to visit the church and get a feel of it. I cried that entire weekend. Sunday morning (the last day of the trip), my family and I were worshipping with strangers that would soon be my dad's congregation, in a sanctuary, that soon would be my home church. Every hymn and every verse of the scripture that morning screamed out obnoxiously to me, "GOD HAS IT UNDER CONTROL. THESE PEOPLE AND THIS PLACE IS A PART OF HIS PLAN FOR YOU. IT WILL BE GOOD." An overwhelming sense of God's presence was with me that morning, along with His peace. Sure enough, God does know what He's doing. 4 years later, I can say that I am grateful and happy that Topeka was apart of God's plan for me and my family.
This past summer, my family and I took a mission trip to Guinea. My favorite part of that trip was Sunday morning worship. The gratitude and excitement to worship was incredible. A congregation of 30 people gathered on a front porch and sang familiar hymns in their native language, loudly and with great joy. It was in that singing that I could see heaven. With every tribe, nation, people around the world praising and loving the one and true God. Back at home, every Sunday before communion the pastor says: "Therefore with angels and archangels and with all the company of heaven we laud and magnify your glorious name, evermore praising you and saying..."That piece of liturgy, that I have heard every Sunday for my 20 years of life, became significant to me; across the Atlantic, in a small Muslim country, on a front porch. It was in that worship service, that I experienced a little taste of heaven.
As I look and reflect on the ways God has been placed into my life, the verse Psalm 46:10 comes to mind. "Be still and know that I am God..." The times in my life where reality wasn't what I expected nor desired - I became still. And in that stillness, God moved and changed me. Praise be to God!
The first time I remember experiencing God's presence, is the first time I doubted His existence. Eighth grade year, a church member and a dear family friend passed away during heart surgery. As kids, we called Mrs. Johnson our "second grandma." Her death was sudden and unexpected. I remember crying throughout her entire funeral service. It wasn't fair that Mrs. Johnson was gone. She was supposed to meet her 3rd grandson for the first time after her surgery. It was all unfair. As the days past, my anger and confusion grew. The concept of heaven and hell seemed far too unreal and "made up" to me. This was the first time, I doubted the existence of God. I couldn't bring myself to believe that Mrs. Johnson was in a place, that wasn't of this universe. I couldn't wrap my head around the concept of a place which we spend an eternity in. The concept of eternity seemed too far fetch. For weeks, I cried myself to sleep, trying to pray but always ending the night questioning if anyone or anything could even hear my prayers. I confided in a friend at the time who was mature in her faith, and her advice to me was to continue praying. So that's what I did. Soon my prayers of anger turned into prayers of faith. Instead of asking the question, "Are you there God?" I started asking the question, "Will you give me the faith to believe?" From those few months of prayer and doubt, I came out with a deeper and personal relationship with my Savior.
One year later my worst nightmare, as a high school freshman, came true. My dad accepted a call to a church 500 miles away from the only place I called home. We took a weekend trip down to Topeka to visit the church and get a feel of it. I cried that entire weekend. Sunday morning (the last day of the trip), my family and I were worshipping with strangers that would soon be my dad's congregation, in a sanctuary, that soon would be my home church. Every hymn and every verse of the scripture that morning screamed out obnoxiously to me, "GOD HAS IT UNDER CONTROL. THESE PEOPLE AND THIS PLACE IS A PART OF HIS PLAN FOR YOU. IT WILL BE GOOD." An overwhelming sense of God's presence was with me that morning, along with His peace. Sure enough, God does know what He's doing. 4 years later, I can say that I am grateful and happy that Topeka was apart of God's plan for me and my family.
This past summer, my family and I took a mission trip to Guinea. My favorite part of that trip was Sunday morning worship. The gratitude and excitement to worship was incredible. A congregation of 30 people gathered on a front porch and sang familiar hymns in their native language, loudly and with great joy. It was in that singing that I could see heaven. With every tribe, nation, people around the world praising and loving the one and true God. Back at home, every Sunday before communion the pastor says: "Therefore with angels and archangels and with all the company of heaven we laud and magnify your glorious name, evermore praising you and saying..."That piece of liturgy, that I have heard every Sunday for my 20 years of life, became significant to me; across the Atlantic, in a small Muslim country, on a front porch. It was in that worship service, that I experienced a little taste of heaven.
As I look and reflect on the ways God has been placed into my life, the verse Psalm 46:10 comes to mind. "Be still and know that I am God..." The times in my life where reality wasn't what I expected nor desired - I became still. And in that stillness, God moved and changed me. Praise be to God!
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