Over Me

The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

I remember the first time I encountered this verse. I found it odd - to imagine God singing over me. Rejoicing over me. I interpreted this verse as God singing praises to me. Myself being the object of worship rather than the subject. When others preferred this verse as one of their favorites, I found myself feeling unsettled: We are to worship God. He deserves our songs, our joy, our adoration. I, a broken & suffering sinner, should not expect God's melodies. In what theologically-sound world, does God sing to me?

Fast forward a decade later and I heard this song. Subsequently, the God-breathed scripture then pierced my heart: 

When I am lost inside my mind
Sing me the hope I cannot find
When my despair has left me blind
Sing me the tune I've left behind

When all the grief  pours through my hands

When I’ve forgotten who I am

I can’t feel anything but shame

Sing out and give me back my name

When I sink down beneath the fear

The weight is more than I can bear

Keep singing low

I cannot hear

Someday I’ll sing for you, I swear

Will you sing over me?

Will you sing over me?

Sing of the goodness I cannot see

Will you sing over me?

The word "over" is important. For the past several months, I go to church & I cry. I cry because I continue to wait. I continue to grieve. I continue to lose. I continue to fail. Where is my God? I feel lost. I feel alone. I feel abandoned. I feel punished. I sit in church: I recite the creed. I hear the Gospel. I join in prayer. I sing the harmonies. And through that worship, amidst my worship, despite my worship: I am still angry. I am still bitter. I am still left devastated. 

But then I go to the communion rail. My hands fold open & I receive Him. I hear the words, ""The body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ strengthen and preserve you in body and soul to life everlasting. Depart in peace. Amen." The words are heard. The sacrament is received . The sins are forgiven. The believer weeps. 

In my weeping, He sings over me. He does not sing to me. He sings for me.